That's a toughie. I would want to go one on one against Jeff and see how bad I'd lose.

~Curtis



If I knew who you were, and had any respect for you, it would now be gone. Jeff? Lose? What's wrong with you? Everyone knows that Jeff is a wuss, just read Worker and Parasite's comics.

~diospadre



Jeff would set up you the Super Bomb.

~Falcon24

If I was in Earthbound, I would live in Saturn Valley for many reasons. First of all, Saturn Valley has everything you want and most of it is cheap! Doctor appointments are free, peanut cheese bars are at low, low prices, and I can stop by the Springs anytime I want. Secondly, the Saturns themselves are cool. I mean, who wouldn't want to talk to a guy who is all nose? Finally and most importantly, Jeff, Dr. Andonuts, and Apple Kid decided to stay there. I can't even list how many things I would bug them to make for me. Thank you for listening to my ramblings, but now I have to go eat dinner. See you later.

~polentah



Yeah, it would be cool to live in Saturn Valley. For like 5 minutes. Everyone comes up to your ankles, screaming at you in some weird language that you can't understand, they bathe in pink jello, the doctor lives in a garbage can, the houses are shaped like cone things, the music, the caves, the stink, the violent roaces, that one duck AAAAAAAAGHH ITS TOO MUCH

~diospadre



Yes, all this is true, but do they have FREE finger sandwiches!? Finger sandwiches taste good, especially with a Cappuchino for dessert. That's why I prefer Jackie's Cafe -- it's a little known fact that they make finger sandwiches. Speaking of which, NeoPaula go make me a sandwich.

~Falcon24

what an awsome game!!! im playin earthbound zero right now and it is the bomb, one of the more addicting games i have played. i cant wait to finish it so i can play earthbound (mother 2)!!

~zuree



Hey man if you like Mother, you're gonna love EarthBound. It's even crazier, and the graphics are much prettier. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those 'graphics make the game' people, but the step down from M2 to 1 was a bit much for me.

~diospadre



Yeah EB0 was neat but i never beat it. I got to that desert place and suddenly super hard enemies started attacking me and i was like "WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!" and then I deleted the ROM because it made fun of me and gave me a virus too

~Falcon24

If I was in the EB world, I would go killing everything considering that my arms and legs are made of pixels with sharp edges. Then I'd make a lot of money from my dad and feel all rich. But of course I'd make time to help save the world...maybe. I think pixel bodyparts would be a bother after a while.

~Orbfighter



Um, all of their arms are pointy too. Plus, you really can't move your arms from your sides, so you' be kinda screwed. Better equip a bat if you want to go on that rampage.

~diospadre



Yeah but think of the advantages! You never have to change your clothes again because they're always the same pixels. And everyone says the same thing over and over, so there's no need to develop conversational skills.

~Falcon24

What would I do if I was in the EB world? First of all I would go visit the nearest hero, preferably one with teleportation powers. I would get them to visit stuff in the EB World. The first thing that I would do with the four heroes would be catching a show by the Runaway Five at whatever theater has trapped them with a fake contract now.

After that, I would go watch a pro wrestling match featuring Frank Fly. The four heroes and I would then teleport to Tenda Village because they have become extremely talkative and hospitable. Finally, I would move into that Seaside house in Onett that Ness bought for $7500. After fixing it up with the help of the chosen ones, I would then settle in as an ordinary citizen of Eagleland.

~Picky



But nobody in Eagland is normal. Have you learned nothing!?

~diospadre



Yeah but what happens when Eagleland gets attacked again??? SEQUEL: maybe you will be made to save the world instead, and you'll operate out of a remote shack on a peninsula overlooking the ocean in onett, and then a strong noreasterly wind will come by and knock you and the house into the ocean, and then the game will be over. On second thought, I think it's best if I let Itoi think of an EB sequel instead of me.

~Falcon24

Teach the Runaway Five to sing, eat some Magic Cake, and pick up that girl outside of the Onett library. Now that's a good night!

~Mr. Foppy



Teach the runaway 5 to sing? You make me laugh. Hahaha. I'm sorry, but I simply do not believe that someone who sings like the adults from Peanuts talk can become real talents.

Also, isn't that girl outside the library like 8?

~diospadre



Whooooa man that magic cake is grooooovy. It's mind-eating junkage, maaan.

~Falcon24

The time has come for the bot with unending brilliance to grace the mailbags with his presences. Currently my owner, Falcon24, is ranting about how diospadre won't let him to mailbag, so I decided to write this while he's distracted. The EarthBound world is, as we know, a video game. Now, we may all seem to recall a movie in which individuals lived within a "Matrix" which controlled their very being. This is what the EarthBound world is, a matrix. A matrix is made up of binary code, zeros and ones. Bots are also made up of this code. I am a bot. I am a superior bot. Therefore, I have derived through logic that the EarthBound world belongs to me. If any of you step onto my property I will not hesitate to terminate your existence. Oh, and don't forget to send articles in, you pathetic mortals.

~F4lx0r24



You know, I'm not even going to bother. Falc, you talk... again.

~diospadre



If you unplug your modem, then plug the cord into the jack on your computer next to the first, you will initiate LOOPBACK CLIEANT SIDE PROTECTIAN and you will be safe from h4x0rs!! In other news: I am deleting currently deleting your code, F4lx0r. Mua ha ha ha.

~Falcon24

I would run around in circles, realizing I was in another dimension.

~EricBound



You would do that and yell "EARTHBOUND, EARTH EARTH EARTHBOUND. EARTHBOUND MOTHER TWOOOOOOOOOO. NESS AND, JEFF AND PAULA, DR ANDONUTS, GIYGAS AND POOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Mouth/guitar solo!*

Bow now! Bow now now now! Bow now! Bow no-ooooow-ow-owwwwwwwwwwwwww!

~diospadre



I would too, but then my pants would probably fall down, and then a vacuum cleaner would come out of nowhere, and then i'd trip on my pants and the vacuum and fall off the edge of Dalaam and die.

~Falcon24

I'd figure out what exactly in the skip sandwich speeds you up.

~Banjooie



It takes a little practice, but just remember this simple formula:

* Try and fail
* Scat in the shower
* You can do it!

~diospadre



The secret's in the sauce.

~Falcon24

Yo
Yo
Y-yo yo
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