Here's this week's mailbag, with co-answer person CPTCrunch!

I have recently started a online web site community. But I have hit a snag in its design. Since the community has a few members that update different parts of the community web site, it is necessary for them to have access to the websites FTP service to upload new material. But, to be honest, I do not trust other members with the password to enter the FTP server for fear of theft or defacement of the community site. So here is my question:

How do the many staff members of SM.Net update so frequently? Do they have access to SM.Nets FTP service? Or do they update by other means?

Also, how are they able to post news about their new update under Latest News? I tried to write a HTML script that had a separate subject, text, and signature with date; similar to SM.Net's. But I could not figure out how it was done. I even viewed SM.Net's source code, but I could not figure it out. How was it done?

Thank you for taking the time reading this, I hope I made some sense to you.

~SHADOWX100



One of the many differences between a free webspace provider like Geocities and a real server like ours is that you get multiple FTP accounts. You can restrict them to a certain directory, file, or whatever, so staffers can only access what you want them too. As for the news updates, we have Newspro, a CGI program that makes it quick and easy to do exactly what we want with the front page.

~diospadre



starmen.net has a different FTP password that restricts each person's FTP access to their specific section. I don't know how they do this. My best guess is that it's really 25 different sites all registered at the same time through the magic of fraud.*

~CPTCrunch

* This is (probably) not true.

After reading the mailbag and restarting my frozen computer (grrr...) I took a second to check out the "fixified" SSB section. Go there, quickly, and have a look at the yo-yo that the second Ness from the left is holding.

...

You're back? Good. Does that totally look like Giygas on that yo-yo? Are the creators of SSB giving us a clue that they, too, like EarthBound? Or am I a loser? (Um... don't answer that last one, Polentah branded me on Irc this evening and I'm still shaking off the effects.)

~SimonBob



Yes, that is Giygas! That's cool that you saw that because I never did before. Is he in the Yo-yo controlling Ness? I don't know! Blue team go! Blue team go!

~diospadre



Smash Brothers was developed by HAL Laboratories, which also developed EarthBound, so yeah, I think it's safe to say they like EarthBound :) And you're only a loser if you don't agree with HAL on that topic.

~CPTCrunch

Fellow Starmen,

I've been playing this game for the first time as of November '00. Your walkthrough has been very helpful in many tight spots!

I was looking at your map, and noticed a ? west of Reindeer, so I decided to check it out - there is an old man here who can't talk, but if you use telepathy on him, he says he lost his DENTURES. If you walk outside his house, you can see a sign to the left on the level below the cliff. Walking counter-clockwise from the house around the edge of the cliff, you can reach the sign and 'check' it to find his DENTURES underneath! Return them to him and he will concoct a recipe for his patented MOUTHWASH, which will cure a 'cold' status! You can return to his house anytime and talk to the boy for more: at the low, low price of $10.

Hope you can add this little tip to your walkthrough - it's the first time i've been able to contribute anything like this online! Glad to be of assistance, as you have been to me!

~rawbert



Hey thanks for letting us know. I wonder how the whole mouthwash thing works. Maybe Ness uses it and since his teeth are clean, he is more confident with the ladies and that makes his HP go up.

~diospadre



Yes, but did you know that if you drink the whole bottle of MOUTHWASH, you start to see these big red frogs hopping across the sky, and then you black out and wake up in a dumpster? That's just one of the many hidden tips and tricks that are so secret that we were forced to forget them by the federal (U.S.) government until now.

~CPTCrunch

How does "The Pants Song" in the articles section By Ness the Skittle Boy have anything to do w/ Earthbound? By the way whats the verdict? Is Earthbound64 gonna be released. I like straight answers. Try to say "yes" or "no."

~Bob



A while ago people were obsessed with pants for some reason. I avoided it and will continue to do so. Don't you hate pants!

~diospadre



To your first question: Two out of the four characters in EarthBound are wearing some form of pants (three if you count Poo's one-piece outfit.) So we see that pants are an important aspect of EarthBound as well as real life. To your second question: Y..yy...Ye...N...Y..N.. darn it. I tried my best, but I simply can't say one of those two words. That's because I a) don't know, and if I did I would certainly share, and b) Actually, I forgot what b was. Oh well.

~CPTCrunch

Why does Jeff wear a tux?

~Joey Martin



He tries to be cool but he just can't pull it off. The extra baggage what with his glasses and Tony hanging around him just don't help at all. Plus his tux is green. He could really take some lessons from Mr. T, don't you think?

~diospadre



Because he's a student of Snow Wood Boarding School, where are the students wear tuxes. So his only other option was to go out in his underwear, which he might have except that it's freezing in Winters. And, as we know, our heroes don't change their clothes over the course of their adventure. Hey, there's a world to be saved after all!

~CPTCrunch

Is there a way to see any of the previous Funfests, other than the Halloween '99 one? I'd like to see some of the past entries, especially the stories and animated GIFs. Do the files still exist or are they gone permenently?

To answer the topic, they said that they didn't want all that work on Mother 3 to be wasted, so I think that they might bring it, or something like it out on GameCube.

~David



Actually, I'm about to finish up the Funfest Museum, which showcases all the previous Funfests. Expect to see it sometime this week.

~diospadre



I really don't know about the funfests. I think they might be available somewhere; if they are, I think we should definitely get them posted. If they aren't, then I guess they aren't :| As far as the gamecube idea goes, I think it's still feasible. Nintendo may, if enough demand exists, try to do mother 3 on the Gamecube. I think the petition will probably help, but we really ought to keep pressure on Nintendo about it! WE still have a chance thanks to Gamecube.

~CPTCrunch

As the dust clears from the ruins of starmen.net's dream of a new EB game... Staffers, Operators, Moderators, and even regulars search for a new hope... No more EB64. No nothing. When suddenly, a huge black monolith arises from the ground! The monolith is shaped like a cube!! The Staff, Mods, Ops, and regs gather around the strange monolith!!!! The monolith opens, and a light shines across the desolate sm.net!!! A strange thing arises from the light of the monolith!!!!!!!!! That thing is called..... EarthBound!!! And the SM.net gang gathers around the great monolith and sings great songs of joy and celebration!!!!! And the Monolith is called GAME CUBE! A new hope arises and SM.NET becomes the most POWERFUL FORCE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!!!! HA HA HA HAHAHA HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Meaning of letter: I hope that EB64 comes out on game cube. It will make me cheery.

~Mysterious Submitter1



Dude our dream collapsed!? That's pretty cool that wanting that game so much created a physical manifestation which proceeded to collapse on itself. Where is it? I bet somewhere in Nevada.

~diospadre



Me too. And increase your medication dosage.

~CPTCrunch

I don't think it's ever coming out so we better get started on zoiff. please don't hurt me luna or tomato cuz i am submiting to mailbag as requested. um... do i get a prize or sumthing?

~Mach Man



Everyone is skeptical, but I'm still hoping Mars and Spiffage are laboring on Zoiff somewhere in Joliet and will come out of nowhere with a finished product. Oh I hope I hope I hope...

~diospadre



If you give me your address, social security number and credit card number (or your parents' will do if you don't have one), I'll mail you a cool prize. As far as zoiff goes, it's unfortunately dead because programmers simply can't work together. It was a nice idea though.

~CPTCrunch

Hey I am working on a fan made earthbound game and I am first wondering if you mind If I use the midis and sound effects and such off your page.

also the game is still kinda early we are getting a storyline together but i wanna make sure it fits in nicely with the earthbound series (storyline wise) would you guys mind helping to make sure it matches up to par?

I realise it will never be nintendo quality but I wanna get as close as I possibley can. And you seem to know more about it than anyone else so your help would be very apreetiated.

~Sylpher



Go ahead! It's this kind of thing that we have all this stuff on the site. Make sure you submit your finished product to us, though.

~diospadre



I'd be happy to look over your storyline, time permitting, if you send it to me (generalcrunch@aol.com). As far as the sound goes, go ahead and use it but be sure to put a "thanks to starmen.net" in there, ok? Coooooool

~CPTCrunch

Yo! I was wondering is it pronounced One-ett or On-ett?

~Jeff2000



Personally I've always pronounced it to myself as "Oh-nett". The reason for that is because the first time I played it I didn't use the players guide until somewhere in Threed, so I didn't know anything of the number theme they had going on. But then last year I was talking to YMM about EarthBound and I said 'oh-nett' and he was all 'what are you talking about!?' and i was like "wtf you dont know oh-nett" but he was like 'you just said "wuh-thuf"! what is wrong with you!' and then he tried to be me down but i was so in his face and like "dont even try that crap in my house!" and we threw down pretty hard. You gotta represent when it comes to EB.

~diospadre



I think it's actually one syllable, pronounced like "want". I know it's definitely not "one-ett." I don't know WHY though. It makes sense that it would be "one-ett" because of the numbered towns thing. EarthBound is weird and possibly lethal. Possible side effects include heart disease, kidney failure, death, and possesion by the Prince of Darkness.

~CPTCrunch