Here's this week's mailbag, with co-asnwer person NeoPaula!

Now I know this won't be a very popular idea, but how about we firgure out some way to manipulate SCEA (Sony Computer Entertainment America) to try and buy the compleate rights to EarthBound? Imagin..... EarthBound: Return of Gygas (or something) a four disc Epic that wipes FF LLLCCCMMMXXXVVVIII of the charts and has become a gaming phenomenon!

~Earth Bound Avenger



As much as I'd like to see this happen (I just bought a Playstation :D,) the odds of it are way more tiny small than EarthBound ever coming out for another Nintendo system. Why, you ask? Well, Nintendo owns the license (or Hal, it doesn't really matter,) and would never give it to Sony. If they did, then all that would come out on Sony's rendition was an RPG with titles EarthBound, with nothing to do with the other games because everybody on the EarthBound staff would not follow the franchise to Sony. Sorry.

~diospadre



If you can hoodwink Gio into providing the cash, I'm all for it.

~NeoPaula

What does this item Video Relaxant do anyways.You can get it from a Game Genie so it must exist.What does it say when you click on help.Last,what enemy do you get it from(it has to be from an enemy). What,too lazy to check enemies,you guys hack so use a code that always makes the enemy give an item that its suppose to give like items with a 1/128 chance 1/1 chance.Please answer.

~khss



Frankly, nobody knows what it does. If my memory serves me correctly, the help menu ssays something along the liunes of "What the heck!?" and does nothing when you try to use it. I'm sure we'll know the answer after another five years, maybe Tomato will write an article about it someday.

~diospadre



The video relaxant is a simple device really, ngyayh. I hate to gloat, glaven, but I designed it myself. It's primary formulamatics, hoiy, are to use the calixibrax in conjunction with the ngyerular to create the stuff..that does the things... that it does.....Glaven!

~NeoPaula

Technical question. What do you guys use to update/edit your page? What kind of HTML editor?

~Andrew



Actually, we don't. Unless you wanna call text editors HTML editors. Tomato wants us to use Dosedit (go to run and type edit) for some crazy reason, but I don't like it because you can't copy and paste very well, so i just use Notepad. We do all of our html by hand, as was decreed bythe T-man himself back when the site was just starting.

~diospadre



If I knew that I'd be a better person because of it. My guess is they use the...er... you know which one I mean. The one with the editing.

~NeoPaula

Can i submit a picture of a bunch of stuf jubled together (a collage)for the Hallowe'en fanfest instead of fanart or a fluke?

If not, How do i make a "fluke"?

~Anime Omega



Collage, flukes, fanfics, it's alllll good. Just make it about EarthBound, throw in some Halloween, and don't be too generous with the crappiness. If you're wondering about flukes, head over to our Flukes section. If that doesn't answer your questions, e-mail Falcon24. He only reads his mail if you attach some big 20mb files to them though, so make sure you do :).

~diospadre



Well, I'm sure if the collage shows creativity, or at least the ability to slap together something with the transparent thingy form MS paint, then you can. You can make flukes by downloading the fluke-maker from the site, or by messing with the DNA of your best friend and combining it with that of a spider. I recommend the latter.

~NeoPaula

I'm going to write one! It's been so long that I'm here (not really) and I've still not done anything! (You can believe that fact) I've decided to write an article, or maybe something like that. More of a rant, but still respecting the main objectives of an article. I've got experience too! Hey! I have The Charivaric Bulb behind me and The Explosive (Both of these are homemade journals with a few collaborators) and I've got a few stuff of my own! That's good no?

~BeamCauldron



I don't know about that "experience" you speak of, but send i articles now! We need to keep Jeb busy over here and i liek articles. Remember to say "I like EarthBound because my dog ate my sandwhich."

~diospadre



Heh. Trust me, skill is not an issue for articles. In fact, I plan to send one in including the following passage.

"Hey all you sm.net homies. You are so cool, but the forums and #eb drool. Get your act together, or I will slap you with my Princess Peach glove."

Can you DO any less?

~NeoPaula

Why the heck did I decide to go to a boarding school that uses netscape as their internet browser!?

~Luna



I don't know, yo. Try out anonymizer.com so you can use web-based IRC clients. Or just kill the teachers and escape. You can stay with some of those other weirdos in Canada, like Cyan or Ramza.

~diospadre



Silly Fool. Netscape is the devils work. That and Area 51, Us History, and Wisconsin cheddar cheese. Any fool knows that New York's cheddar is unrivalled.

~NeoPaula

I got all of the Earthbound MP3s back when they were on EB/SM.Net. Heh heh.

I'm still you're favorite staffer, diospadre? Or has someone else come between us... its that NeoPaula, isn't it! Waaaaa!!!

I'll just have to cuddle up to my Ryoko android...

Oh, I just noticed that you used bad grammar in this/last week's mailbag section.

me have grammer yes

~Rune



I got some of the mp3's too, but my connection wasn't so good back then. Don't worry Rune, you're still my favorite, NeoPaula just manages to scare me into giving her jobs (oh no! Not de Sailor Neo!) As for that Ryoko android, where's my Ryo-Ohki one?

~diospadre



Yeah, I'd watch out for me too. I'm one sly fox alright.

*NeoPaula goes back to eating Mr. Sparkle Laundry Detergent.

Yums!

~NeoPaula

I want to know how to find EB music on Napster, so can ya tell mee?

~EBchick



I found most of my stuff by putting "Nintendo" in the author slot and ""EarthBound" in the song title one. You can switch them, omit them, whatever. If all else fails, come to #earthbound and ask Awuas, our sm.net radio man. I'm sure he has more EarthBound music than anyone else. Just look at his playlist.

~diospadre



Alright, patience, grasshopper. The first thng you must do, is contact your local sensei. If they are not available, a 7-11 employee will do just fine. Go up to him, and ask, "My superiority is mind-boggling, so I shall not conceal my contempt for you. Share with me the secret of this "Napster," and I shall spare you."

If you find yourself with a bullet in the leg, however, you could always try entering "Earthbound" under author.

~NeoPaula

Ah, greetings, command!

I think the site's doing fine under new management, what with the insane "better than yourmamasmama" webmaster and stuff, it's great!

I mourn the loss of noble reid, and hope that dios will start acting like Artanis from Starcraft, since reid left, dios should take himself a bit more seriously. Heheheh...

Falcon's not gonna drop the hammer anymore, but he's still coming! Yay!

dios r l33t. l33t 4s SLing. DNOT MAKE TEH FUNZORZ OF TEH DIOS... heheheheheheheheheh...

My point is: Should we build a massive force of Newbie marines, oldbie Wraiths, mod Siege Tanks, and Admin BattleCruisers and siege Buzzy and NOA until they die like the Zerg scum they are? [i][b]*mildly psychotic laughter*[/b][/i]

~NessJeff



Wow. Dude, you're freakin insane. The only reason i even put this letter in is because you mentioned me and StarCraft :D

~diospadre



Er... I think you should go. Your planet needs you.

~NeoPaula

I recently typed an article and sent it in to Jeb2. You know why he didn't post it? 'Cause it SUCKS!!! I was reading it to myself, and I said, "This is drivel. Anyone who reads this will ridicule me on #earthbound." When I realized that I had nothing to lose, I sent it in. But if everyone sent in articles, I think we'd wind up with a lot of drivel. Maybe we should just log #eb and use that as articles instead.

~SimonBob



Heh theres no such thing as crappy articles! Write more and send them to Jeb! I want him to die of exhaustion from posting articles!

~diospadre



"Who can take your trash out? Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy too?
The Garbage man can! O the garbage man can!
The Garbage man can cause he does it with a smile and never judges you!"

~NeoPaula